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Description
EVEN IF I'M NOTMy first words as a mother were, "Dont drop him. It was as if I knew, even before I held my first child, that I wouldnt be able to hold onto my children. \n \nWe were the family who lost half our children; over a ten year period, four of our eight children died, as infants, from a rare mitochondrial disorder. After the babies died, I was sure that nothing terrible could happen to us ever again. \n \n \nNot to us. \n \n \nThen, Yossi, our oldest child
My first words as a mother were, "Don’t drop him.” It was as if I knew, even before I held my first child, that I wouldn’t be able to hold onto my children.
\n
\nWe were the family who lost half our children; over a ten-year period, four of our eight children died, as infants, from a rare mitochondrial disorder. After the babies died, I was sure that nothing terrible could happen to us ever again.
\n
\n
\nNot to us.
\n
\n
\nThen, Yossi, our oldest child and only son, drowned six weeks before his wedding day.
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\nAs a child, Yossi loved playing with words. Once, when he was getting ready for school, I said to him, "There are bagels on the counter if you’re hungry.”
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\n
\nHe said, "Even if I’m not.”
\n
\n
\n"What?”
\n
\n
\n"The bagels are on the counter even if I’m not hungry.”
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\n
\nAfter Yossi died, I grappled with long-held beliefs: Hashem is close; everything that happens has a purpose; and our neshamos continue to exist after we leave This World. The comfort of these truths was there for me, if I was ready to accept it, but also—as I learned—"even if I’m not”…
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\nAt first, I couldn’t find my way forward. I felt like Hashem was saying, I’m asking you to do something impossible. Do it anyway.
\nEven If I’m Not is the story of doing the impossible.
\n
\nBy Devorie Kreiman
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Easy to install, fits great, money saver!
Easy to install, just as expected! Fit great and so much cheaper than having the mechanic shop do it!
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Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Good quality and price
Cheaper than autozone, and it arrives to my front door. Very easy to install, since I am not familiar doing very many things to my car, but youtube showed me, and 2 minutes later, it was done.
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Reviewed in the United States on August 4, 2025
★★★★★ 5
Great price, easy install
OEM fit and very easy to install. No issues at all — everything worked exactly as expected.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 19, 2025
★★★★★ 5
Great filter
Always as expected, purchased multiple times!
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Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Good fit
Good fit
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Reviewed in the United States on April 12, 2026