SKU: 77399027592

Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide

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Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to HomicideBy: Rupert Holmes 'Full of twists, the emphasis is on comedy . . . but the extraordinary Holmes can pull the heartstrings too.' THE TIMES The McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts a luxurious, clandestine college dedicated to the fine art of murder where earnest students study how best to "delete" their most deserving victim. Who hasn't wondered for a split second what the world would be like the object of your affliction ceased to exist? But

By: Rupert Holmes     

'Full of twists, the emphasis is on comedy . . . but the extraordinary Holmes can pull the heartstrings too.' THE TIMES

The McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts - a luxurious, clandestine college dedicated to the fine art of murder where earnest students study how best to "delete" their most deserving victim.


Who hasn't wondered for a split second what the world would be like the object of your affliction ceased to exist? But then you've probably never heard of The McMasters Conservatory, dedicated to the consummate execution of the homicidal arts. To gain admission, a student must have an ethical reason for erasing someone who deeply deserves a fate no worse (nor better) than death.

The campus of this "Poison Ivy League" college-its location unknown to even those who study there-is where you might find yourself the practice target of a classmate...and where one's mandatory graduation thesis is getting away with the perfect murder of someone whose death will make the world a much better place to live.

Prepare for an education you'll never forget. A delightful mix of witty wordplay, breathtaking twists and genuine intrigue, Murder Your Employer will gain you admission into a wholly original world, cocooned within the most entertaining book about well-intentioned would-be murderers you'll ever read.

'A case study in the droll amusements of homicide, Rupert Holmes's send-up of higher education and even higher crimes and misdemeanors will keep you up at night-alternately turning pages and checking to make sure the front door is locked.' Gregory Maguire, author of Wicked

'With dry humor and an eye for hidden clues, Rupert Holmes imagines a secret Hogwarts-like school that teaches the fine art of pulling off the perfect (and perfectly deserved) murder. An utterly creative and deliciously diabolical read.' Alafair Burke, New York Times bestselling author

'A college with a degree in Homicide? Only Rupert Holmes could make murder laugh-out-loud funny. This book isn't clever-it's fiendishly clever. And the twists and tricks and endless surprises make me want to sign up for another semester!' R.L. Stine, author of Goosebumps and Fear Street

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SKU: 77399027592

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Matthew Anderson
San Leandro, US
★★★★★ 5
No problems after a year and a half
Color: Dogwood & Calming, Size: Medium
Have been regularly buying these for my corgi for about a year and a half. The 2 pack lasts about a month or 2 each time. Pieces break off in small enough pieces that they safely pass through his digestive system. He gnaws each one down to about 1/4 the original size before we take it away and give him a new one. He continues to have regular bowel movements and has a healthy appetite so I can’t imagine any problems arising after so long. I have tried other alternatives and every other similar chew breaks off in larger pieces and didn’t feel comfortable letting him chew/eat them. I noticed there are a few 1 star reviews saying their dogs got sick off these but after a year and a half I have had 0 issues with this product. I guess it depends on the dog and how big of pieces they are swallowing. My dog ingests pieces about the size of a grain of rice so just pay attention and you should be fine.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 18, 2026
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terlynn4
Birmingham, US
★★★★★ 5
Long lasting and safer alternative to sticks
Color: Dogwood & Calming, Size: Medium
These are great, very durable, and have lasted a very long time. Much safer for my dogs than the random sticks they find in the yard. They do get shorter with chewing eventually, but they don't break off in little chunks like I've seen with some nylon chews, and they don't splinter like wood. Medium size works well for both my 16 lb Cavalier and my 60 lb Pyrenees/Golden mix. They're both moderate-to-aggressive chewers, though size obviously affects how much damage they can do. I wish you could buy the hemp chew separately because that one is very much a favorite in my house, so after 2 years and 2 purchases, I have barely any left of the remaining hemp chew, but still 2 of the dogwood chews that neither dog is as interested in anymore. I'd love to buy a couple more of just the hemp one.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 30, 2026
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Shannon Brace
Phoenix, US
★★★★★ 5
Your dog will thank you.
Color: Dogwood & Fresh Breath, Size: Large
My dogs loves to chew on these. They make a small mess but not as bad as other chews. They are food for keeping teeth clean.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 31, 2026
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Anna
Omaha, US
★★★★★ 5
Nice chew toy
Color: Dogwood Mushroom, Size: Medium, Color: Dogwood Mushroom, Size: Medium
Super durable and puppy loves it. It was a bit hard for her at first but now at 5 months it’s one of her favorite things to gnaw on! It is heavy for the size but seems to be great quality and has given many hours of chew time with minimal wear.
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Jennifer
Waukegan, US
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Long lasting
Color: Dogwood & Calming, Size: Medium
My dogs love these bones.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 25, 2026

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